As an expectant dad, there are tons of things going on that we may have never learned or heard of. The caveat to that is that we are sometimes embarrassed or scared to ask. That is why DADVERSE exists. One is to help inspire fathers to be more engaged but to also learn.
In this article, we will go over pregnancy, trimesters, and how you can support your partner through this entire process. If you are in the middle or towards the end of the pregnancy journey, feel free to skip to the trimester section that best fits your current needs.
Jump to Sections:
- What Is A Trimester?
- First Trimester (1-12 Weeks)
- Second Trimester (13-27 Weeks)
- Third Trimester (28-40 Weeks)
- Fourth Trimester (1-12 Weeks Postpartum)
- Our Take
- Sources And Further Reading
What Is A Trimester?
A trimester is a period of three months (or 12 weeks). Pregnancy is typically divided into three sections which we call the first, second, and third trimesters. Each one of these periods of pregnancy is unique and has challenges specific to it. For those reasons, trimesters are used to help doctors and expectant mothers understand the process.
The fourth trimester, although not as commonplace, is a term used for things that take place postpartum. We will go over that towards the end of this article.
While all women experience pregnancy slightly differently, these trimesters provide a great guideline on how to treat, support, and monitor expectant mothers. For dads, this is great information. Knowing each trimester and how it will affect your partner can greatly help you provide the support they need during this time.
First Trimester (1-12 Weeks)
Finding out that you are going to be a parent is a pretty complex thing. For the most part, it is exciting, but on the other hand, it can be terrifying. Most of us have only just figured out how to correctly take care of ourselves, much less a tiny human being. Now, I want you to think of the mom. Her journey doesn’t start in nine months like her dad. It starts right then and there.
The first trimester is one filled with a ton of emotions and physical complications, and for most women, it can be downright unbearable. In a study done by Women’s Health in 2016, over 60% of women stated that the first trimester was the worst. We have all heard the struggles of childbirth (third trimester), so how does the first trimester even make the list for the worst?
Physical Changes in Mom
First things first, let’s talk about morning sickness. Despite its name, this pesky symptom can occur any time of the day and can range from feeling slightly queasy to throwing up multiple times a day. It’s important to be patient and understanding with your partner during this time as it can be quite debilitating.
For my wife, even the smell of some foods or even objects made her sick to her stomach. Certain foods she loved a few weeks before, couldn’t be within a hundred feet of her.
Another common physical change during the first trimester is fatigue. Growing a baby is hard work and can leave mom feeling exhausted even after a full night’s sleep. Encourage your partner to take naps and offer to help out with household chores to give her some much-needed rest.
With all of those going on her appetite tends to suffer. This only leads to more sickness and even more fatigue. Are you starting to understand how this cycle doesn’t have a reprieve? Being sick is horrible. For weeks on end, I can not imagine.
Emotional Changes in Mom
Mood swings are a common occurrence during the first trimester, and it’s important to remember that they are a natural part of the hormonal changes that are happening in her body. Be patient and understanding when your partner is feeling extra emotional, and try to offer words of affirmation and support.
Anxiety about pregnancy is also common during this phase. Things like the thought of miscarriage or pregnancy complications can weigh heavily on their mind. These thoughts are completely valid but can lead to serious issues if not discussed. Be sure to reassure your partner that she is doing a great job and that you are there to support her every step of the way.
Baby Development Milestones
Not all of this time is bad. Your baby is completing some pretty amazing milestones in the first trimester. Here is a short list of major milestones:
- Weeks 0-4: At this point your baby is microscopic. They are starting to get situated in the uterus to begin development.
- Weeks 4-6: Around this time the heart begins to develop. By the end of the 6-week mark, you could hear a heartbeat! They’re also starting to develop a brain, spinal cord, and other vital organs.
- Weeks 7-9: Your baby’s legs and arms are starting to form. They are also growing pretty fast now (1mm a day).
- Weeks 10-12: Eyes, although fused shut, have developed. Those arms and legs are now getting fingers and toes.
Your partner’s doctor will most likely schedule the first ultrasound during the seventh or eighth week of pregnancy. This ultrasound will help solidify a potential due date and check the baby’s heartbeat and size. I highly recommend you attend with your partner. This is a huge event for both of you!
Dad’s Role in the First Trimester
As a dad-to-be, your role during the first trimester is mainly focused on emotional support. Listen to your partner’s concerns and offer words of encouragement. Offer to help with household chores and daily tasks to take some of the burdens off of her.
Attending prenatal appointments is also a great way to show your support and be involved in the pregnancy. This is an opportunity to hear the baby’s heartbeat and ask any questions you may have about the pregnancy.
All women will have different experiences, symptoms, and complications. Every pregnancy is unique. Being engaged and receptive to what your partner is going through can help you better understand how you can help. The key takeaway for this trimester is to be engaged, receptive, and empathic.
Second Trimester (13-27 Weeks)
Some things will get easier for your partner during the second trimester. Unfortunately, some new challenges will arise. These are mainly due to a growing baby. The good news is, you are 12 weeks down and one step closer to meeting your new baby.
Physical Changes in Mom
At this point, we will hopefully see a decline in morning sickness. It may still be around, but the nausea of the first trimester is dissipating. Your partner may have more energy and will begin to feel more like herself. This is amazing! She has had a pretty chaotic experience up to this point, so the reprieve is great news.
As one thing gets better though, a few new issues may arise. All of them due to the growing baby inside of her. You may start to notice her “baby bump” a lot more. With that, the need for clothing geared ore for expectant mothers is necessary. She may not want your help (that is perfectly okay), but here is a great opportunity to bond by going shopping with her.
As the belly grows, it can put a strain on the lower back and legs, leading to discomfort and occasional cramping. Her feet may hurt more often and she may feel exhausted at multiple points throughout the day. She is growing an entire human, so keep that in mind.
Emotional Changes in Mom
Your partner may get a lot of their energy back that they had lost in the first trimester. This energy coupled with their natural nesting instincts, she may be excited to begin preparing the home at this point. Anything that she finds joy in and takes away from the physical stressors of pregnancy is a great thing to hone in on.
Some mothers may not have a large change in energy levels. That is perfectly fine too. Being sensitive to that as the father is a huge role that you play. Helping them relax and prepare are ways you can step up.
Baby Development Milestones
With all of that energy mom is feeling, the baby is following close behind. The second trimester is filled with some milestones that are adorable to witness. Their ability to move and their awareness starts to take shape. Here are the major milestones for the second trimester:
- Weeks 13-15: Your baby is getting its groove on, practicing those dance moves with plenty of wiggling and kicking. They’re also developing the ability to swallow and digest some amniotic fluid. (The fluid in the womb. Helps them develop their lungs and digestion.)
- Weeks 16-18: During these weeks it is common for babies to begin forming hair! Eyelashes may also form during this stage.
- Weeks 19-21: Time to break out the headphones—your baby can now hear your voice! Plus, they’re getting more coordinated, practicing by sucking their thumbs.
- Weeks 22-24: Your little one’s starting to look more like, well, a baby! They’re gaining weight and their skin is becoming less transparent.
- Weeks 25-27: Your baby is now officially a tiny acrobat, perfecting their flips and rolls. They can also respond to light and may even startle at sudden noises.
Typically, another ultrasound will be scheduled during the second trimester. This will be done between weeks 18 and 20, but your doctor’s timeframe may differ slightly. This ultrasound is also referred to as the Anatomy Scan and is the most thorough ultrasound during pregnancy. During this scan, all of your baby’s vital organs are for any abnormalities. The doctor will also count all of the fingers and toes and make sure that the body is developing at a healthy rate.
If you and your partner want to know the gender it is most likely to happen during this ultrasound as well. Although, if you do not want to know (please discuss this with your partner), you should let the technician know beforehand.
Dad’s Role in the Second Trimester
Your partner is progressing well and that means you are even closer to being a dad. With that comes a lot (nothing overly complicated) of preparation. We are currently working on an updated checklist for things to know before birth. We hope to have it out soon.
Related Article: Our Approved List of Baby Essentials
In the meantime, here are a few main points you should consider during the second trimester:
- Baby Room Prep: Think about things your baby will need in their nursery (if you do one). At the least, you should consider sleeping arrangements, diaper changing, breastfeeding or formula storage and prep, as well as, clothes.
- Car Seat: Getting them home from the hospital will be impossible to do without a car seat. You do not necessarily need to purchase one now, but researching and knowing which one you like will help later.
- Finances: Discuss with your partner the financial situation and budgets for baby preparations. This can help significantly when purchasing large items. Even small ones can be expensive.
- Time Off: This is a big one. It is getting more commonplace to see companies offer paternal leave. Ask your supervisor what your company offers and think about scheduling some out in advance. Your partner having help after childbirth is such a stress relief for them and if you can be there you should be.
Of course, this list is not all-encompassing, but it gives you an idea. Start planning now. Have conversations now with your partner about some of these. It can help alleviate stress and unnecessary arguments later.
It is important to note that during this time, your partner can use your help. When it comes to household chores, errands, shopping, and planning, do not shy away from helping.
Third Trimester (28-40 Weeks)
This is the home stretch. Things are getting real and, for your partner, are most likely getting pretty hard. Your baby is growing rapidly and is taking a lot out of the mom-to-be. It is easy to have the end in your mind at this point, but there is still a lot going on and much to be done.
Physical Changes in Mom
With the size and strain of the baby, your partner is going to begin (if not experiencing already) some physical discomforts and complications.
The first big one is difficulty sleeping. As your partner’s belly grows, it can be tough for her to find a comfortable sleeping position. To help, suggest investing in a pregnancy pillow or encouraging her to sleep on her side with pillows for support. Keep the bedroom cool and dark, and limit screen time before bedtime to promote better sleep.
Your partner may experience shortness of breath as her growing baby puts pressure on her lungs. Encourage her to take breaks, practice deep breathing exercises, and maintain a moderate exercise routine (with her healthcare provider’s approval).
What Are Braxton-Hicks Contractions?
Braxton-Hicks contractions are a term for contractions that are not related to true labor. They are false labor pains. These can be felt during the third trimester and for some may begin in the second trimester. As the body is preparing for labor, it will “practice” by contracting just as it would in true labor. However, it is only the body preparing and not beginning labor.
Your partner, if she did not start them in the second, will most likely begin having these in the third trimester. Since they come at irregular times and with little to no pattern or set trigger, your partner will likely show concern. Be there to support her and encourage her.
It is important to note that some women may want to be left alone. Respect this. Our job is to be that support. That support is there ONLY IF THEY NEED IT. They will let you know. Be engaged and ready if you are called upon. That is the best way to put it.
Emotional Changes in Mom
As the due date approaches, it’s natural for your partner to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. Be patient and understanding, and offer a listening ear. Consider attending childbirth classes together to learn more about the process and ease her worries.
Nesting instincts may kick in, and your partner might feel the urge to get everything ready for the baby. Join in the preparations, whether it’s setting up the nursery, washing baby clothes, or packing the hospital bag. If this began in the second trimester, your partner will likely be finishing up any last-minute prep. You can still help out.
Baby Development Milestones
Since this is the homestretch, there is a ton of growth happening in these last weeks. From size to activity, here is a list of the big milestones in the third trimester:
- Weeks 28-30: Your baby’s brain is growing super fast, and their lungs are getting stronger, preparing for that first breath outside the womb.
- Weeks 31-33: They’re getting chubbier by the day, storing up fat to help regulate their body temperature after birth. Plus, they’re now peeing in the amniotic fluid (weird but true!).
- Weeks 34-36: The little ones are getting crowded in there, so they’re probably settling into a head-down position, getting ready for their grand entrance.
- Weeks 37-40: Your baby is considered full-term! They’re just putting on the finishing touches now, like shedding that downy hair called lanugo and packing on a bit more weight.
Rapid Growth
During the third trimester, your baby is going to be growing in size and weight pretty rapidly. According to the American Pregnancy Association, these are the numbers for baby weight averages in the third trimester:
- 27 Weeks: 2 pounds and around 10 inches (head to rear)
- 32 Weeks: 4 Pounds and around 11 inches (head to rear)
- 37 Weeks: 6 to 10 pounds and around 12 to 14 inches (head to rear)
That is a quick change! Of course, please keep in mind that healthy babies come in all shapes and sizes. These are the national averages and by no means reflect the “perfect baby”. All babies are born with unique qualities and size is one of them.
Dad’s Role in the Third Trimester
You have made it pretty far! How are you doing? At this point, you should be done or finishing up your baby’s preparations. This goes for the house and you personally. If you aren’t, that is alright too. Just make sure to dedicate some time to get what you need to get done completed.
During this time it is also highly recommended that you are familiar with the hospital, important phone numbers, driving route, and your partner’s preferences for delivery. Knowing all of this beforehand can help squash any questions that arise later.
The biggest thing for dads to know in the third trimester is to be supportive. I know many of you are excited (maybe scared), but so is your partner. They are about to deliver a child and are probably feeling a flight of emotions. Being there in a supportive role is crucial.
At this point, they should not be having to worry about household chores, errands, or anything that requires them to stress or overexert themselves. That is your job!
Understanding the Due Date
The due date, if you remember from earlier, is set by the first ultrasound reading. The ultrasounds after that can alter the due date, but it isn’t very common and is up to your provider.
That being said, do not be alarmed if you miss the one they gave you. The due date represents the approximate day your baby will reach 40 weeks (or full-term birth). Some babies will come before that date and some after.
It is very normal to be slightly early or slightly late from your due date. If your partner is showing signs of early or late delivery, your doctor will most likely address that with her.
Fourth Trimester (Birth-12 Weeks Postpartum)
As I mentioned at the beginning, the fourth trimester is not a part of the pregnancy stages, but it is still a part of the pregnancy. There is a lot of healing that needs to take place and it is primarily in the 12 weeks following labor. This stage is important for both the mother and child as they adapt to a new environment and changes.
While all mothers will experience this one differently, it is important to be aware of possibilities as a father. Ensuring your partner has the care she needs is necessary and should be the top priority alongside the care of the newborn.
Physical Changes in Mom
They just went from carrying a baby for nine months to having nothing there. Of course, they are with their newborn, but their body is going through an abrupt and drastic change. Hormone changes like this can cause physical symptoms such as night sweats and hot flashes.
It is also important to realize that they need to recover from labor. If you are in the delivery room, you know that that is not a joke. It is a stressful and exhausting process. They need time to heal. They will be sore, have little energy, and may have swelling which causes separate pain. Be receptive and empathetic to this.
Give them what they need to feel relaxed and take care of them. Not only are they going through this postpartum process, but they may also be breastfeeding and at home with the newborn. You NEED to do your part for your partner.
Emotional Changes in Mom
The American Pregnancy Association conducted a research study in 2021 on the emotional effects of giving birth for women. This study found that around 75% of women experienced Baby Blues and around 15% of new moms experience Postpartum Depression. These are both serious emotional hurdles, so here is some information on each:
Baby Blues
Also called Postpartum Blues, is a mild state of anxiety and stress brought about by hormone changes and post-labor care of a newborn. Women that experience this may show signs of irritability, mood swings, anxiety, and sadness.
This may last for a few weeks but typically resolves itself after the mother’s body has had time to heal from labor.
Postpartum Depression
This is a form of depression that is significantly harsher than that of Baby Blues. It is characterized by feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and guilt that persist for weeks or months after giving birth.
In addition to these emotional symptoms, postpartum depression can also cause physical symptoms such as fatigue, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping. It can interfere with a woman’s ability to care for her baby and herself and can have negative impacts on her relationships and daily life.
For both of these, it is very important to emphasize that this is not the mother’s fault. Giving birth is a difficult thing and mothers are the true MVPs of the story. To no fault of their own, their body may handle post-birth by showing one of these two things.
It is our job as the spouse or partner to be that emotional and physical support. If they are going through this take up the reigns on their duties. Allow them the time to rest and recover that they need to be their healthy self again.
Related Article: 9 Ways to Support Your Stay-At-Home Spouse
Life Beyond the Trimesters
If you are at this stage, congratulations. You are now a full-fledge father. Be proud. You should also be soaking in every moment at this point.
In the time beyond the trimesters, your baby will begin developing mentally and physically at a rate you were never prepared for. It goes by rather quickly. Today, they may be clenching your finger in their hand for the first time. In a few weeks, they may be laughing.
My advice: Enjoy Every Moment.
Our Take
I wanted to do this post for two reasons. The first is simply because dads are pretty uninformed, misinformed, or do not care about this stuff. The second is because moms are underappreciated sometimes.
On that first point, that is the point of this website. Teaching dads new things and helping them to be more engaged is the top priority. I hope that the information in this article was educational, eye-opening, and helped you understand a little more about pregnancy.
I also hope that this article gave a newfound appreciation for all of the moms out there. The trimesters are difficult and stressful. You all handle it like champs. If you are a mom, I hope you found this information truthful and correct. There are a lot of things in here, but I do hope that I have understood the source material in its entirety and displayed it all correctly. If I haven’t, please reach out at support@dadverse.net or message the Facebook page directly.
This post does not in any way cover everything there is to know about pregnancy and trimesters. If you would like to learn more, please check out the American Pregnancy Association.
If you read this entire post or even just skimmed through it a bit, thank you! Please share this with anyone who needs it and let us know on the Facebook page how we can improve or if you enjoy what we are doing.
Sources and Further Reading
With all of the information in this post, I used a ton of sources to bring truth and reality to this topic. I hope you will check some of them out, as well as the books listed below, as they hold some great information.
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). (2021). Your Pregnancy and Childbirth: Month to Month. 7th Edition. Washington, DC: ACOG.
URL: https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/your-pregnancy-and-childbirth-month-to-month
American Pregnancy Association. (2021). Pregnancy Stages: Trimesters & Fetal Development.
URL: https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-stages/
Mayo Clinic. (2021). Pregnancy Week by Week.
URL: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week
National Health Service (NHS). (2021). Stages of Pregnancy.
URL: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/stages-of-pregnancy/
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Office on Women’s Health. (2021). Stages of Pregnancy.
URL: https://www.womenshealth.gov/pregnancy/youre-pregnant-now-what/stages-pregnancy
Cleveland Clinic. (2021). Pregnancy: The Three Trimesters.
URL: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/7247-pregnancy-the-three-trimesters
Harvard Medical School. (2021). What Every Dad-to-Be Needs to Know About Pregnancy.
URL: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-every-dad-to-be-needs-to-know-about-pregnancy-2021010621411
Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2021). Pregnancy: What to Expect When You’re Past Your Due Date.
URL: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/pregnancy-what-to-expect-when-youre-past-your-due-date
La Leche League International. (2021). The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. 9th Edition. New York: Ballantine Books.
Simkin, P., Whalley, J., Keppler, A., Durham, J., & Bolding, A. (2016). Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide. 5th Edition. New York: Meadowbrook Press.
