Parents need sleep! This goes without question. However, this simple task seems like an impossible thing to achieve. From newborns and teenagers to work and home life, so many things can keep us up at night.
In this article, we discuss why sleep is important and also how you can hopefully get more of it. We will review some tips for getting better sleep, coping with sleep deprivation, and keeping your mind and body engaged throughout the day.
There are so many quick changes you can make to your day that can greatly impact your health. Why not give it a shot? As parents, let’s be honest, we need all the help that we can get!
Jump to Sections:
- Why Sleep is Important for Parents
- Common Reasons for Sleep Deprivation
- Tips for Getting Better Sleep
- Tips for Coping with Sleep Deprivation
- How to Stay Alert and Focused
- Our Take
- Sources and Further Reading
Why Sleep Is Important For Parents
Sleep makes up 8 hours (hopefully) of our day- every day. So, it is pretty apparent that it is a crucial part of our overall health and stability. This is even more important for parents since now you are not only looking out for yourself but your children as well.
Sleep provides our bodies with the necessary strength to defend against illnesses. This could be that stomach bug that always seems to be going around your child’s school or something you might encounter at work. Having a strong immune system is always a great thing to have on your side. Sleep can help with that.
Getting enough sleep also affects a huge part of our day-to-day mental health. From patience and irritability to the way we approach conversations and look out for ourselves, sleep is typically the first culprit when things are bad. A lack of sleep, or sleep deprivation, can leave you feeling irritable and can make it hard to concentrate on tasks.
Before children, you might have been okay dealing with these things. You could have a rough day and get back to full strength on the next night’s sleep routine. Unfortunately, that probably isn’t the case anymore. Our children need us at full strength every day. They are going through a ton of changes, they thrive on routines, and they can have some annoying questions throughout the day. Being a well-rested parent can help you deal with all of those and support them in the best way possible.
Common Reasons For Sleep Deprivation
Being aware of the reasons we are missing out on much-needed sleep is the first step. These are a few of the “heavy hitters” that could be causing you a ton of issues. It is important to discuss some of these with your partner and doctor if the issues persist.
It is also worth noting that everyone’s situation is different. While these are common issues, you could be dealing with something else. Getting the courage to discuss these with your doctor or even a therapist is a great way forward.
Newborn Won’t Sleep
A while back we put out an article on why newborns may not be sleeping. I highly recommend you check it out here.
In a snapshot, newborns have trouble sleeping for a variety of different reasons. It can be diet, teething, growing pains, poor sleep schedules, or a ton of other things. Most newborns will have some issues with sleeping, if not a lot. It is normal. They went from being snuggled up in the womb for nine months to being thrown into the world. You can probably imagine how scary that is.
They also have little to no control over their emotions, wants, and needs, and leave much to be figured out with what they can express to you. This is where learning your child’s patterns and needs is important as parents. This can help you offer the right types of comfort when they need it.
It is no surprise that if your newborn isn’t sleeping you won’t be getting much either. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this doesn’t go away for a while. Having routines set up with your partner can help divide some of the sleep deprivation and stress and can go a long way for overall health.
Parents of newborns sleep an average of 4.1 hours per night, compared to the recommended 7-9 hours for adults.
Oxford University Press, Sleep Journal
Children Having Nightmares Or Sleep Issues
Once children finally get used to sleeping by themselves and have a routine, other issues can sometimes arise. This can be in the form of nightmares, bedwetting, or just separation anxiety.
It is important to make sure that your child’s bedtime routine is consistent and relaxing. Simple things like reading a book or singing a song before bed can help calm any of those lingering nerves or anxieties.
Another thing parents need to be for their children is supportive. Going to bed seems like such an easy and mundane task when you have 30+ years of doing it, but it isn’t always the case for children. Helping them know that you are there for them and that you will not judge them (especially for things like bedwetting) can make the world of difference.
It can also be beneficial to try using a nightlight. We utilize a star system light that shows on the ceiling. It has a green and red light mixture which is a lot less harsh than normal white light. It is also just cool.
Just as before, when our children do not sleep, we typically won’t either. I know, being a parent is hard. It will get better though!
Anxiousness Or Stress
Stress can be caused by work, home life, friends and family, or anything else throughout the day. For many of us, this can be hard to compartmentalize and “forget”, so we think about it long-term. Your body is exhausted by the end of the day, but when you go to lie down you can not stop thinking about one of those events that happened earlier. Sound familiar?
Most of the time we put too much on our plates. This is even more evident as a parent. This can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and sometimes depression. All of those can cause a lack of sleep. It is hard to rest when the mind is racing.
Physically Uncomfortable
A good pillow and mattress can go a long way toward a good night’s sleep. A bad combo can also be just as detrimental.
If you constantly wake up with neck, back, or shoulder soreness you may be a victim of the latter. It might be time to invest in a good bedroom set if you can. For something you spend a third of your time on, it isn’t such a bad investment.
Sleep Disorders
If none of the issues mentioned beforehand are plaguing your nightly routine, you may have an undiagnosed sleep disorder. This is something that I have dealt with personally, so I know how difficult it can be to handle.
Some common, but crippling, sleep disorders are: sleep apnea, insomnia, snoring, and restless leg syndrome (RLS). I highly recommend checking out this short article from the CDC here to see if there might be something you or your partner or dealing with.
It is very important that you discuss this with your doctor if you think one of these could be going on.
Tips For Getting Better Sleep
Below are some ways that can help you and your partner get better sleep. Of course, not all of these apply and some may not work for you, but they are a great start.
Create A Routine
Creating a consistent routine is a great start when it comes to correcting sleep issues. With so much going on it can be easy to go to bed at 8 o’clock one night and 10 o’clock the next. This can be harmful to your body’s internal clock. By doing this you can confuse your body and cause it to have a much harder time discerning when it is that you need to sleep.
Address Possible Sleep Disorders
If you had any symptoms from the section earlier on sleep disorders, this is for you. If your partner has these issues, this is for you as well.
It is time to address these medical issues. Snoring is not a normal thing that everyone deals with. That is a myth. It can be very harmful and needs to be evaluated. It can be a sign of more serious concerns like sleep apnea.
Visiting with your doctor or having a sleep study done to better understand your medical issues is a great place to start.
Limit Screen Time Before Bed
In a previous article, we discussed screen time and how it affects our children. Guess what? It affects us too.
Have you heard of Circadian Rhythms? This is the internal clock I was referring to earlier. Circadian Rhythms are our body’s way of identifying sleep cycles from sunlight. When we use our phones or computers up close at night or in dark rooms, our circadian rhythm can become confused and lead to headaches, migraines, and a lack of sleep.
Removing screen time up to 2 hours before bedtime or very limited use 1 hour before bedtime can greatly reduce this impact on your sleep cycle.
Tips For Coping With Sleep Deprivation
Naps
Even a ten-minute nap can give a much-needed boost during the day. Naps are also shown to increase productivity, alertness, and mood.
Naps may have a bad stigma to them for adults, but they can be a necessary outlet for overstressed parents. If you have that 10 or 20 minutes to yourself (I know not everyone does) consider using it for this.
Share Responsibilities
When you are feeling overworked and under-rested it may be time to have a conversation with your partner. Discuss possible switching of roles and chores, schedules, and sleeping arrangements.
If you typically do all of the nighttime routines with your children, try having your partner do them or at least help you out. Sometimes a change of pace can go a lot way.
Sleep Aids
There are a ton of great natural remedies to try for sleeping aids. Chamomile tea, lavender, and melatonin are just a few that have been proven to work in case studies. Incorporating them into your routine can help.
If your issues persist even with drastic changes to schedules and using the above sleep aids, speak with your doctor about the possibility of using prescription sleeping aids.
Positive Perspective
It is important to realize that as a parent, this is temporary. Eventually, your children will learn to sleep on their own and this phase of sleep deprivation will pass. If it is things outside of your children, such as sleep disorders or stress, those too can be alleviated with proper care and acknowledgment.
How To Stay Alert And Focused
When we get no sleep the night before, we still have to show up to our most important job the next day – being a parent. There are no sick days or vacation days, and your children still need you when you only got 3 hours of sleep last night. These five things can help you survive the day and remain alert and focused.
- Caffeine: Drinking a little caffeine in moderation can help give a slight boost throughout the day. Don’t overdo it.
- Exercise: Having a workout routine can boost your energy. Give it a shot. It is good for you in more than one way.
- Stay Hydrated: Drinking plenty of water throughout the day helps keep your body and mind alert.
- Be Social: Studies show that engaging with friends and family, whether in conversation or activities, forces us to remain focused and alert longer than we normally would have been.
- Take Breaks: Stepping away from work or house chores for even 5 to 10 minutes every couple of hours can give that much-needed recharge.
Our Take
No matter what stage of parenting you are currently in, you are probably going to face some sleepless nights. This unfortunately is unavoidable. But, do not fear, you are not alone. We are all going through it in our own ways.
From newborns who are struggling to sleep more than an hour at a time to pre-teens who may be struggling with much more complex sleep issues, it is our job to be there.
Just remember that this is a temporary problem and one that can usually be aided by family and friends, a change in schedule, or professional help. The first step is you! We hope that you will try out some of our suggestions and that they bring you even just a little reprieve at night.
We hope that you found this article informative and helpful. Please be sure to check out the sources and some recommended readings (for you bookworms) that helped us get this information to you. Please be sure to share this with anyone who might benefit from this!
Sources
Sleep Health (NHLBI, NIH) 2020
International Space Station Circadian Rhythms Experiment (NASA) 2018
Sleep Curriculum (The Partnership in Education) 2017
Sleep Disorders (MedlinePlus, NIH) 2021
Understanding Sleep Health Concerns and Factors (NHLBI) 2022
Further Reading
“The Sleep Book for Tired Parents: Help for Solving Children’s Sleep Problems” by Rebecca Huntley
“The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5” by Jennifer Waldburger
“Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams” by Matthew Walker
“The Sleep Solution: Why Your Sleep is Broken and How to Fix It” by W. Chris Winter (M.D.)
